Blogging

I have always faced a rather dubious conundrum with updating this blog.  It mostly centers around the fact that I am always so busy ingame.  Certainly too busy to update a blog more than once every week or less, as has been the case for about six months now, much to my chagrin.  However, that should be no excuse in some sense, because this blog is my outlet and podium to express the opinions, interests, developments, events, and stories that define my entertainment experiences in this game on a nightly basis.

I wish I could say that the energy required to post nightly is there, however.  To be honest, most nights in the past two months straight since we started our Northern Campaign and then returned once more to Providence, only to be expelled forcibly weeks later, I have spent sitting around, planning, thinking, contemplating, brooding.  It does not sound like much, but in reality, it is a constant nightmarish landscape of mental landmines, quagmires, paradoxes, loopholes, juxtapositions, and any other morbidly fascinating but overused social cliches one can think of.  It would not be that far from the truth though.

So, for my faithful audience, who still checks in every few weeks, to see if this mentally exhausted CEO has bothered to post a trick or two, I wanted to thank you.  I may not speak volumes, but there are always volumes waiting to be spoken.  Everyone has seemed to grow accustomed to my lengthy wall texts in our private corporate forums, in channels while logged into the game, and in their game mailers, so I guess, maybe in some sense, it is good that I do not also bombard a blog with the random ramblings of an overworked administrator who is trying to dig his way through the mile high stacks of paperwork, to make sure his corporation and alliance have every possible chance available to them, to succeed, flourish, and be entertained in a game rich with potential for growth and experience.

Thanks, to you, my relatively silent audience, for keeping up the faith.  I think I will change my New Year's Resolution to updating this blog at least every other day, from now on.  Ready for the wall text symphony?  I shall name it, Symphony R3 Opus no. 10 in E Minor, hidden pun intended.

Crossroads

Crossroads
A Fork In The Road


The Path Already Traveled...
There are not very many times either in real life or an online environment where things really matter so much that it is almost palpable in the air. Sure there are tumultuous sometimes violent encounters between opposing forces, ideals, or peoples, but I am talking about times of pivotal decision making.

Last night the corporation convened for a rare but important meeting to talk about what we want out of this game not as corporate or alliance members but as individuals. Though most of the leadership suspected as much, we were all pleasantly surprised and overjoyed to hear that the sentiments were largely unanimous. We want to have fun, and we want to have fun together. Wherever it is, whatever it is, as long as its fun, and we are adhering to our ideals as a group, then we go for it. This is what the AU-F started with, and if I have my scruples, that is what it will continue with. We are here to enjoy an online game and the friends we choose to play it with. It is as simple as that.

The Pause...
Now, the lingering question in everyone's mind is, why are we not doing this now and why did we stop doing this in the past month or so? As per the last post made here an unfortunately long time ago I implored everyone to take a much needed breather in anticipation of a flurry of activity after Dominion dropped. The former happened, the latter, having something to do after Dominion actually dropped, did not. Not because of us, but more so because of the content of the expansion itself. Things did not pan out like we had all hoped they would. So since then we have been trying to apply this same formula (having fun for the sake of fun) to the alliance as a whole. Sparing you the gory details, this has been easier said than done. Our idea of sacrifice versus personal entertainment differs greatly from others, it seems. However, we are giving it everything we have got within reason, without sending the lambs to the slaughter, so to speak.

So because of this, the corporation has voted to not take on the Stain Project after all. And by corporation, I mean, we asked for volunteers to go out to Stain, and got no more than we could count on one hand, and with room to spare at that. This is the AU-F as a whole that has spoken on the matter. And I take very seriously what the majority of the corporation desires as a group at one point or another when opportunities are presented to us. What does this mean? I do not know. But we hope to find out soon after meeting with the leadership pool of the alliance. One thing that is clear, however, is that at this time Providence has gotten just a little bit too crowded for our tastes. CVA itself, sovereign power and one of the most respectable power blocks in the game, have no part in this, per say. They set forth on this path years ago, and could not have fathomed that the changes in the game mechanic and the player base would yield such a relatively inhospitable environment financially, rather devoid of the means which we all need to maintain our personal levels of entertainment. When I can squeeze out an L4 and bank more in fifteen minutes than I can in an hour on any average night out in Providence, then you know it is time to look to the horizon for a time and find another herd to track.

The Fork...
Now, CCP is talking under their breath about looking into adding NPC agents to player controlled space, and I think the reason being, is exactly what has happened to Providence. Providence is like a thermometer for all of EVE. It has both elements of Empire, low security, and null security all wrapped into one. And so you get this sort of massively complicated dichotomy with which if you were to take educated samplings of, you would get an idea of what is and is not working in the game itself, except for capital engagements of course. And so I think at some point in the next six months Providence may be viable again for pilots in our position, loyal to Providence, but unable to make a day's wage out there, so to speak. But I no longer have the patience personally to waste away another six months waiting for something to happen, to give me purpose out here. I want to have fun sooner rather than later, especially after spending the past few months wondering what we are supposed to really be working towards out here in the end.

Bearing this in mind, it behooves the Alliance to take up this initiative and find us space to live where we can prosper and flourish but not directly oppose or risk harming our brethren in Providence space. The AOV leadership has taken up this charge, which is what the Stain project is about. And the charge is, gain standings with the north. The north, comprised of the power block known as the Northern Coalition, with such alliances as RAZOR, Wildly Inappropriate, and Morsus Mihi, are not directly at odds with Providence residents or sovereign powers, and are the most logical choice of a place for us to go prosper and flourish and maybe maintain a long term and permanent residence should we find ourselves liking the space so much that we do not want to return to Providence. Not only this, but in the two years I have been gaming in EVE, I have only seen good from these alliances, rarely bad. In fact Morsus Mihi has always had my utmost respect, because they fly incredibly professional PvP fleets that are awe inspiring the few times I have seen them.

The Decision...
Now, the elephant in the room is, that the Alliance has chosen to take on the Stain Project, but we have not. So what does this mean? I do not know. I want to go back to the drawing board, but I want decisions to be made in days, not weeks, as this has already gone on long enough, the confusion, and lack initiative that is. We are going to convene with the alliance leadership at the earliest convenience, and bring these issues to light. The first order of business is we are temporarily and/or permanently leaving Providence. The second order of business is we do not wish to pick up our pilots, drop them into inhospitable space, and tell them to fight tooth and nail for survival. The third order of business is we want to primarily live in an environment that is conducive to wealth and progress first, and an environment that is target rich for combat fleets second. We had the former for the first six months we came out to Providence. Now we seem stuck in perpetuity with the latter, which is not good for the bottom line. Wars are waged with the dollar not with the soldier, in a philosophical sense. If we cannot fund our operations, what does a target rich environment give us? A whole lot of nothing.

The Path Yet To Be Traveled...
So before us lies two paths. One path leads to compromise between what the alliance thinks it needs and what we think we need. The other path leads to compromise between what we need and what the alliance thinks it needs. Which comes first? I am apt to believe after having devoted twelve months to alliance initiatives thus far that we need to make a few decisions for our own benefit that do not hinge solely on whether or not it benefits the alliance first and us second. I am trying hard to include the alliance in the grand scheme of things nonetheless but only time will tell if I am able to maintain this particular initiative.

The Rock...
So, times are changing and with those changes comes uncertainty. But to give everyone a rock to lean on I would like to announce the advent of the long awaited Empire Project. I have tried, unsuccessfully, for more than half a year, to get a project rolling that provides all pilots, new or seasoned, with a consistent, stable, safe, and lucrative environment in which they can prosper and flourish in every way. So far I have been largely unsuccessful because my time is so micromanaged that I rarely had more than a day every other week to devote to this end. Now, however, having come to the realization that things are not going to get done unless I have help doing them, I have a tactical director, Varian, able to take over the combat responsibilities that I have tried so hard to also maintain over the past six months, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. This leaves me much more time for administrative responsibilities and for infrastructure development, such as the Empire Project. So for this reason, regardless of what we do or do not do as a corporation or alliance, you will find, someday soon, in a system near you (if you live in Caldari High-Sec) a wealth of PvE opportunities with which to pursue both in missions, exploration, and industry. I have little to no details at this time because I have been unable to make a move on the project with all the uncertainty lately, but I can tell you it will happen regardless of all else.

So, if you are uncertain about what we are going to be doing in a week or two, as am I to a degree, one thing you CAN do is start pounding out Caldari missions to gain standings, or moving your mining and exploration ships to The Forge region. As early as tonight. Or sooner if you are bored.

See you in space my friends!
Mendolus

The Monk

The Monk
Stoic Philosophy


Well, rather than talk about the corporation, let's talk about me for a bit. Now I am certain that your interest is peaked, after all I am fascinating am I not? Hehe. Okay maybe not, but still, what am I all about?

As early as fifteen years old, I was thrown into situations where I had to lead, or be led. I was given the opportunity to work regularly as a technical stagehand at the theater in my high school which sat +1400 people and brought in such critically acclaimed acts as Marcel Marceau and others. Now, although there were seniors on hand to train me the first year, along with my boss of course, I quickly determined that my actual peers, were up for shenanigans more than experiences, so I took charge once the old guard had graduated. By the time I was a senior, I was the main student help, the stage manager for the fall musical, and pretty much the goto guy for all things student-worker related. The reason for this? Well, as I said, most of my peers just wanted to mess around rather than do honest work, so the only way it was going to get done properly is if I took charge.

During this time, having grown up on the original Nintendo console from the age of 8 and beyond, I got into my first MMO, the original Diablo. Almost at once I found myself gathering up people I met along the way, and protecting them from PKs, God Moders, Teleport hackers, and all other levels of household vermin. I found it was easier to define this group with a name and a website, something they could all feel a part of, so I formed my first social group online. I believe we were called the Shadow Knights. Once again, I was a leader. And you know, I think this is the point at which a trend started forming for me. Protecting people, so satisfying, no matter the cost to my personal life or well being, it was just the bee's knees to watch the fruit of my labors (the social group) frolic carelessly before me, having been freed from the burden of responsibility they would have otherwise had to bear alone and in silence.

The days of Diablo and the online gaming environment it supported came and went after only a short while, maybe half a year or a little more, as during those days, hacking an MMO's gaming environment was as easy as logging onto the game, and turning on your trainer, downloaded straight from some public website. Duped items abounded, even in my own inventory. Those days, no one policed the hackers, and they ran rampant, so you were forced to hack the hackers. Thus the terms PK, PKK, AntiGod, Teleport Hacker, Punting, Flooding, Session Freezing, and the like were all born to a more mainstream audience in a discernibly frustrating way. The social group eventually went its own ways, as of course, being in high school and somewhat transient, I maintained only a loose and infrequent amalgam of hosted games and meetings with my new friends, who just simply stopped logging on one by one over the course of my time with the game.

Then came college, and through living with one of my best friends in a tiny dormitory without air conditioning, and being nervous as all get out about the vast unknown of adult life, we found ourselves playing as a total escape and arguably one of my first multiplayer FPS experiences ever, Rogue Spear. Oh the joy of those days when one would host a game online that you were in complete control of until the round started, sitting in some dark nook in the back of some special spot that you loved popping people off from, setting your fully automatic UMP20 with silencer on single shot, and picking off that hostile who leaned out a window for literally a split second. "Clak clak," goes the trigger on your small unimposing firearm, the only sound emanating from its silencer fit muzzle as it fires off a round. Head shot! Holy crap! And once again forming a player group, The §hadow Clan, my roomate and I valiantly played four to six hours of Rogue Spear a night for nearly half a year, until the hackers took over with their Vertigo and their Heartbeat Hacks, and Auto-Aims to which we had to bid an unfortunate and fond farewell to a game that was so extraordinarily ahead of its time and is so fondly remembered even today by what I am sure are many of its prior players.

Now, at this time, I had enough real life gaming friends, that most of my subsequent activities centered around doing fun stuff with them (as Varian had set out to do a few weeks ago when he and his real life friends left the AU-F to start their own shop). I played untold amounts of Unreal Tournament, Rune, Starcraft, Halo, and other competitive multiplayer online games until I was blue in the face, but I never started another player group. I had not really soured on the idea more than I got caught up with just having fun with real life friends and not being tied to anything in particular. This was college after all, that was kind of the point.

However, around the time I finished up college, got married, and moved into my first real apartment with a new fulltime job, I picked up a little known *snicker* game called Warcraft in the fall of '05 after hearing my new coworkers lauding its amazing gameplay and unimaginably fun content and social landscape for months on end while I was stuck with dial-up until we moved out of my in-law's house and into an apartment, the horror! Thus began a journey through hell in a hand basket, filled with laughter and tears, that is all too voluminous and inexplicably complicated to go into with just the amount of material I am discussing as it is in this post. What had previously been a pastime for me, to lead player groups, to protect them from hackers and other unscrupulous players, to help ensure they were entertained, had a good time, and were less concerned with the why of things and more with the fun itself, now become a part time job. Where I had led groups of a dozen or so to maybe fifty people at any given point, I now found myself within less than a year's time, in charge of almost three hundred people, a hundred active and anxious raiders, countless casuals, hangers on, friends, associates, and yes, some unsavory elements as well. I named the guild Ara Noctis (Are Uh Knock Tiss), which means The Altar Of Night. This. Was. Sparta. And I, and the officers I surrounded myself with, were the line between complete dissolution and unparalleled entertainment and enjoyment of content that at the time was still so revolutionary that everything else absolutely paled in comparison. The release of the AQ gates alone was something to which still mystifies me today, how so many people literally took a day off from their real lives, to participate in the grand opening on their particular server. Madness. Pillars littering the landscape in nearly every zone, spewing mobs with countless riches and treasures, for weeks on end, leading up to the grand opening of the gates, where towering mobs almost too direct to be an allusion to the god Anubis in Egyptian mythology spilled forth and began obliterating the unfortunate few who managed to aggro them in all the chaos and lag on the server, was just the most amazing thing I had seen in gaming up to that date. I found myself leading raids of forty people, almost a different mix every time, three nights a week, for months on end that seemed to stretch out into eternity. This was epic. But like every game that ever came before it, for me, the developers eventually ruined the atmosphere and ambiance of the gameplay experience by either ignoring or not resolving its shortcomings or inundating it with hooks, lines, sinkers, and fillers, to the point that the people themselves, so unable to really pursue alternatives (there were really none at the time) were being led hand and foot from one month's subscription fee to the next. A story for another time, but I burned out, and retired, passing the torch to a trusted friend and co-leader, and hanging up my sword for a year.

So, that leads me up until the early Spring of '08, having come back for a short while to Warcraft to visit with old friends, and unfortunately doing more harm than good when I saw that the game had warped everything I had held near and dear to me and had protected for more than a year with my blood and sweat, I found myself finally disillusioned with the whole MMO process and set adrift and alone in the gaming industry with no place to call home. What is this MMO phenomenon, that eats away at life's precious moments, and leaves you with this untold longing for more and more, even as you morbidly realize that you cannot take any of the pixels with you? Well, it's the people I met, and helped along the way. I do not lead groups because it makes me feel powerful. In fact, I hate power, and the only reason I gravitate towards it, is to secret it away so others cannot abuse or be abused by it, corrupted either willingly or unwillingly. Thus, much as in previous games, I formed the Aurelius Federation to provide one of our longest running members, Jacob (Kuroda Tsu) with a safe place where he could simply enjoy the game and be himself, without anyone breathing down his neck or trying to take advantage of him (like his CEO then was doing). Having found myself, absolutely and entirely without intention, in fact I purposefully came to EVE and fell for its spacey goodness, with the particular hope that it would be a wide and expansive enough gaming environment that I would not get stuck or tied down to any social strata, in charge of yet another player group, I ran with it, and have not looked back since.

And so here we are, having this long discussion, about stuff that matters greatly to me, but with uncertainty to others, about what makes MMOs so captivating for people like us.

There are two things I live by in real life and in an online environment and they are:

[True power is in not having to use said power in order for its effects to be felt]

[...and they will respect a line in the sand more than forgiveness]

I champion your enjoyment and the entertainment value you get out of this and other games, because that is what matters to me. And after having lead groups for a decade now whether in real life or virtual reality, I have come to understand that the only thing we really ever remember or hold onto are the people we meet, and not a single pixel will ever shape our experiences the way the people around us will.

I am unmovable in this respect, like a monk, or Stoic philosopher, and will do whatever it takes to provide every suitable member of this corporation with a playing environment where they can truly enjoy themselves and more importantly feel free to be themselves. Simply a group of friends and nothing more.

So to you, I salute, because in ten years I will remember you, and not the Nighthawk of which I am so fond of.

Fly safe,
Your Friend

P.S. Edited with a WarcraftRealms link to the members who passed through the guild in the year and a half that I led it. Click on the Ex-Members link for a full list.

Anaz = Rasnow
Andolar = Mendolus
Strathelar = Naeisha
Candwe = Rasnow's Wife

Delegates, And Old Battles

It has become infinitely clear to me over the years that I cannot do everything. More so than that, I cannot do everything right for that matter. There are limits, even as I work to the bone to haul fuel for four to five hours a night for a week straight, to what I am capable of withstanding insofar as administrative duties are concerned.

Because of this, we have begun to branch out responsibilities, asking for all takers to hoist a torch and carry it in the name of the corporation. Alone, most of us could never hope to accomplish what we have done together while also enjoying the process itself. I found myself not enjoying it recently after having hauled fuel and modified POS setups every night for almost two weeks, so I took a little break, just a few days, for a few hours, playing Warcraft with Rasnow's wife and her friend. Talk about revitalizing. Though EVE holds its weight in gold for me now, and I have a place here that I would not want to give up for all the tea in china, I was raised on fantasy games, and they are in my blood. It was quite the throwback, to roll around, smashing things with sharp objects.

But when it was all said and done, I came back, rejuvenated, even more proud of what I have been able to do in EVE, and ready for more. The catch is, I need to delegate roles. I try really hard to keep people safe from responsibilities, burdens, or adminsitrative issues, because this is after all, a game, and I would like to believe that most people can just hop on every night, pair up with some corporate members, and go have fun. The reality however, is that this game has a high degree of committment required to build anything of lasting presence, such as POS, or 0.0 operations, or even simply being in a corporation or alliance itself. So while I have diligently tried to keep most of the administrative stuff behind the scenes, I have not always been able to do so.

I am reminded, talking about burdens, of what occurred when we placed our first POS in Mamet courtesy of Fogwlker's tireless efforts to grind rats in 7Y until his fingers bled, and we had all the fixings for a full fledged POS in space. However, much to the collective chagrin of the leadership, and honestly not really at any fault of Fogwlker's, a misunderstanding occurred upon successfully deploying the POS those many months ago.

Yes, I am sure quite a few of you remember, but let me spell out the culprits just the same; Rishal, Krill Arborshate. More so Rishal than anything else, as I will be explaining in full clarity for the first time I am sure.

Ok, so the basic idea was, let us throw a large POS up in low security space, and we can utilize it for blueprint research that everyone can make money from. Not only that, but just the mere deployment of a POS in low security being a milestone for a corporation relatively new to low and null security, as we had only been in the Domain area for a couple of months at this point, becomes an issue of progress and confidence that the corporation does in fact set and meet goals.

Well, it cost Fogwlker 600,000,000.00 ISK for his own personal investment, and initially the corporation and members also funded some 200,000,000.00 ISK overall to fully fit and establish the POS with maybe one or two labs, and some other miscellaneous goods. The initial agreement between Fogwlker and myself was that A) the corporation would literally be indebted to him until said debt was recompensed and that B) the corporation would set one mobile laboratory for public use only and the other labs would be for corporate use to progress the corporation and pay him back. Fogwlker attempted to run some jobs the evening following the deployment of the POS and found that he was unable to do so. He simply asked in the corporate mailer, if the lab was going to be set to public use soon because he was under the impression it was going to be available for all members as he put it. Unfortunately for us, his honest and deserving question, got twisted into a big dramatic scene by Krill and Rishal. Suddenly the leadership was being affronted with all sorts of demanding questions about why we were suddenly locking down the POS and that no one could use it and how is it going to help the members.

Let me paraphrase what occured in a nutshell after dozens of hours of meetings over vent for a period of a few days straight. Fogwlker simply did not realize that the deployment of the POS was very tiring to the point that I had not gotten around to messing with the lab access, and Rishal took it upon himself to take up the fight for the little guy as he saw it, basically in the end asking me a series of ludicrous questions about the basic use and purpose of the POS.

If Rishal had his way, the POS would have been set for open ended, total public access at all levels, and that not a dime from the POS would go to fueling it, or progressing the corporate interests. He actually asked, literally asked, "How is this POS going to make the member's money?" implying that it would somehow start showering people with ISK the moment it was onlined. I just shook my head at this point, I mean seriously, the guy was basically telling me that I should spend countless hours of my time fueling a POS. It would end up being with my own wallet because at this point the corporation had 40,000,000.00 ISK to its name, was generating maybe 20,000,000.00 ISK/wk and the POS required 200,000,000.00 ISK/mo to fuel, I mean I told him this, it is simple mathematics. Yet he persisted in arguing that the POS be used publically so individual members can line their wallets. I mean, we already owed Fogwlker 600,000,000.00 ISK and we were well in the red on paying for fuel to keep the POS online let alone paying him back, so where was the money supposed to come from? My wallet? I had enough time finding a single day of the week at the time and sometimes still now to do anything to line my own wallet, let alone repaying 600,000,000.00 ISK to Fogwlker and purchasing hundreds of million ISK worth of fuel to keep the POS online while everyone else got rich, or so Rishal thought. I think he believed the POS was some sort of easy button that you just pound on and ISK shoots out like a slot machine.

So finally, I got tired, and reached my limit of dealing with him, which says a lot because I have a somewhat ridiculous tolerance level, and I told him the following. I said, "Look, the corporation cannot afford this POS if the POS does not make money for the corporation, so here's what I'll do, I'll leave the fuel we have now in there, it's about two weeks worth. But I will stop fueling it, and set the fuel hangar to public, and the members themselves can pay for, fuel, maintain, and upgrade or manage the POS entirely, and I will have no part of it." All I get from him over vent is an immensely sarcastic response full with indignation in the form of a "OH WELL THANKS, THANKS FOR THAT!" So yes, he was basically telling me with that statement that I work for him, and everything I do should be to line his and every other member's wallets, so neither he nor anyone else has to do any of the work. Shameful.

I mean seriously... seriously, I'm supposed to fuel the POS with my own money so everyone else can get rich? At this point it was laughable, I mean we now know exactly how much research can yield, and it is an investment of about 250,000,000.00 ISK/mo which you can turn into 500,000,000.00 ISK/mo but we are talking a team of 3-4 researchers keeping 4-5 labs going 24/7 for a month, then someone like GAT has to be in charge of selling those BPOs to buyers. But at the time we had no inkling of our profit margins, not only this, but we had two labs, two. And I knew that two labs were not going to make every member in the corporation rich, this was pretty obvious to anyone with half a squirt in their head. We are talking 250,000,000.00 profit per month split between 4-5 people which may take them individually 4-5 hours a month to maintain. So that is 50,000,000.00 ISK per person for 4-5 hours of work per month. That is 10,000,000.00 ISK/hr which is about what you can make mining veldspar in a Hulk. Not exactly a recipe for getting rich and famous. But surprisingly that 250,000,000.00 ISK/mo is just about as much as it costs to fuel the POS so surprise, surprise, the POS breaks even thus far, being able to maintain itself solely through blueprint profits while the officers work hard to find ways to increase those profits over time by branching out activities or researching more effectively. This is how it is supposed to work.

But needless to say, Rishal moved on, claiming we did not have enough PvP opportunities for him and that he wanted to pirate, all the while when he never participated in the PvP opportunities we did have because he was too busy doing L4s and being a carebear. So what was done was done. Everyone was on board with the way Fogwlker intended the POS to be used, and though Fogwlker did absolutely nothing wrong in asking honest questions, others took those questions and turned them into some sort of turf war via scandalous drama that was never there to begin with.

These types of things, the immense work involved, and the occasional spat on the actual work, are one reason why delegating responsibilities helps everyone in the long run. Rishal had lifted one finger to show up in a T1 cruiser and sit around picking his nose while we deployed the POS. I however, spent 7 hours the first night, 6 the next, and 4 the following just hauling fuel and modules to the POS, and setting it up. If Rishal had done some of this, maybe he would not have assumed everything was so easy as "Let's all get bloody rich by waving our hands in the air and saying some magic incantations!"

Now, I think it is pretty rare that you stumble upon someone as bullheaded as Rishal was about the issue, but I think responsibilities are a good thing for a group of players who want to set group goals. Thus far, the officers have pretty much been working to the bone to provide opportunities for the members, and while countless members have also contributed in their own way, Merthe with donations, Meatay with his Orca, Rayth with his donations and projects, Fogwlker with his constant ratting tax revenue and POS investment, Kematian with his donations, etc. the actual hauling, maintenance, fret, worry, and time keeping this stuff running or a schedule going, or a training regimen provided, has been at the mercy of the officers.

This will of course, change shortly, as we are introducing management positions and new gangs at the corporate level, such as diplomat, quartermaster, commissioner, guide, foreman, rearguard, network, and logistics.

What is the lesson here, after I have recounted a period in the corporation where I wanted to throttle one or two former members until their eyes popped out of their heads?

Some things looks easy on paper, but are vastly different in practice.

I have found myself overwhelmed with duties in the past three weeks after having deployed our third POS a little more than a month ago, and this must end. I refuse to burnout! I have the highest burnout threshold of anyone I have met thus far in MMOs, granted that I do not always go around asking everyone what their burnout rate is, but I was one of the last to burnout on Warcraft in my guild as all my officers slowly tapered off into being in a position where enough was enough, I finally caved myself, and admitted defeat, when I found myself sitting atop buildings ingame for hours a night, just staring at the screen, paralyzed to deal with any administrative responsibilities or even answer simple questions about policy or scheduling.

This must not occur again, and I am here to say, that I will be devoting more energy to that end, than I had in the past when I thought that I could withstand anything.

In closing, I should remind you, please remember to kick me out of this rut, and tell me to post something cheery next time, as the last three posts, although one was very sentimental, have all been fairly serious in nature, this must also stop!

WTB [Cataclysms] WTS [Some Responsiblities, Stress, and Rewarding Work]

Looking Back, Stepping Forward

Last night I spent a few hours showing an old friend the game. He had been a long time friend and officer of mine in Warcraft years ago, but he had grown weary of the game and was looking for something new and exciting. Having tried EVE previously but not being too impressed at the time, and honestly I understand his sentiments as at one time Warcraft was the only language I could speak, he was here again to give this space MMO we have all come to love a fresh look.

So there I was, miles away from his starting zone but curious to put the new player experience to the real test. His character was a day old, and having tried the game once before likely more than a year ago, he probably remembered very little from his previous and short lived experience. Here was a veteran of Warcraft, but a rookie of EVE.

From my experiences with ZeeOhSix when he first came on board here at the AU-F I was determined not to simply give him any handouts to help him along, as even with the best of intentions, sometimes giving someone a free head start only costs them in the long run. Zee, with his wise and particularly intrepid ways, informed me that he would in fact not accept any assistance that he could not earn with his own two hands, so long as he was equally responsible for the work.

However, how do you let a day old player come participate with a year old player and not just shower them with free stuff and fun? I made a compromise, being an old friend who I had not talked to for a very long time, I figured, let's give his new player experience some real pizzazz! Originally, and even now to a point, Amos is waiting for this experience still, I had a corporate orientation package planned. You bring a new guy in, fresh off the trial, and what do you do to really show him the game so he knows what the rest of us do, that this is the bee's knees of MMOs? Well, in my mind you do one of two things, you bring him on some L4s, or you bring him 0.0 ratting. And the whole time you do this, you are talking about PvP with him and how this amazing money you are making goes towards it.

Much as I suspected there were almost tangible gasps of excitement and fun as he saw millions of ISK ding in his wallet while I pounded on swarms of NPC rats in an L4 and he floated around taking pot shots at them in his Executioner. As we chatted, shared a mutual fondness for MMO gaming, and got all riled up by talk of PvP, PvE, and all that EVE has to offer to a newer player, I started thinking about my own experiences as a rookie EVE player. Here he was, zipping around in a frigate that sells for 50k and he was watching millions of ISK plop in his wallet every 15 minutes. Every once in awhile he would get aggro and a single shot would get a lucky hit on his agile ship and he would be almost into structure, his frigate ready to burst into pieces and scream through space in a ball of flame.

This was me, more than a year ago, zipping through missions in my little Atron, so proud of my fast little sexy ship that seemed such a huge step forward from the rookie ship. Here was me losing that ship, thinking to myself, "PvE is so hard, I am going mining!" By the way, did you notice my fit? "Oh just a light neutron blaster, a civilian gun, a shield booster, this passive targeter once I can fit it, maybe the rats won't know I'm about to fire on them and I can stealth in, that should do the trick," I would say to myself as I fit my new ship thinking I had finally gotten into a powerful, fast, and agile tool with which I would annihilate these difficult L1s!

It is times like these, although I always know these things in the back of mind, when the realization comes roaring back, how far I and those around me have come since those days so long ago. When did it become common for me to float around in space in ships worth more than a hundred million, watching as my wallet hovers at nearly a billion on more than one character, taking such slight amusement at seeing it go up and down by twenty million every once in awhile as I peruse the markets, rat, or sell goods? I used to think a named sensor dampener drop off frigate rats in 0.6 space that was worth 3,000,000.00 ISK was a fortune and that I had so much money I could buy the biggest ship around and everyone would be impressed by my Vexor because it was such a big ship. I used to hop in my Vexor worth a few mil, and mine space rock in a ghostly empty solar system for a few hundred thousand ISK per hour dreaming of a Brutix battlecruiser as my wallet creeped forward towards the legendary 26,000,000.00 ISK that I needed to purchase it. People who own Brutix must be rich beyond belief, after all, that is not just a few hours of mining, but a couple of weeks worth! I used to take that same Vexor into L2s, poorly fitted, poorly skilled and experienced, and warp out, hull on fire, swearing PvE was the devil and I could not imagine how anyone made a living in the game from it because it must have been designed by idiots bent on tormenting new players.

It is with much gratitude and a great fondness that I look back and know that I got to experience that sort of awe and spectacle at how vast and open the game is, and that although at the time I felt like an Assault Frigate was obviously only piloted by the most veteran players in the game, that I would somehow, make it there someday. Make it to be that veteran who flew all the amazing, unbelievable ships that only the most accomplished and experienced people in the game could ever hope to fly.

But what about the new player experience, now that I am a veteran, I can pass off to a day old player a couple of L4s and a storyline, and suddenly he's looking at 20,000,000.00 ISK in his wallet after a few hours in the game? Let's be honest, the awe and wonder will not go anywhere, but the toil and frustration will. I wish I had someone like me taking me out, showing me the finish line as it were, or in reality always a new beginning and journey, the epitome of PvE, an L4, and encouraging me to think of low and null security as this wonderous place where players police themselves, and where untold riches were ripened to the point of absurdity, waiting on someone to just pluck money as if from the air itself. I spent months, months, being deathly afraid of low and null security as if it were some death trap that you jump into and suddenly found yourself assailed by hostile players at every turn. Months grinding the same L3s, the same asteroids, the same goal to get into bigger and bigger ships. Months I could have been skilling up to dash into low and null, make wild stories about good times, and be free to roam about and experience the full force of the gaming experience EVE has to offer.

These days, having nearly forgotten on a day to day basis, what it was like in those early times for me fresh off the press and still in an NPC corporation, I go out to 0.0 once a week or so, I bring a buddy, and I rake in a few hundred million ISK in a matter of hours, and though it pleases me greatly, it is business as usual. Let me not forget, nor take for granted, that half the fun is in the discovery, splendor, wonder, and awe one experiences as one journeys through this game with endless possibilities. Let me not forget, how it feels to be amazed, shocked, and thrilled to play a game that is so vast and intricate.

Looking back for a few hours last night, and then looking forward to the horizon of my gaming experience, I can only hope to continue this journey with friends, and help others along their way, as I would have wanted to be led myself, more than a year ago.

I used to think the Enyo was the epitome of success and experience, that only the most accomplished of players could fly or afford them in pitted combat. Now it sits collecting dust in my hangar at Misaba, the very first one I purchased and the paint barely has any scratches on it. Suddenly accomplishment takes on a whole new meaning for me. Having escaped the sense that material goods ingame like the POSs we have placed or the cruisers we now offer for pennies on the dollar are the measuring stick of success, I now look at who I am surrounded with on a nightly basis, and realize that is the true success. Though I always knew this in the back of my mind, last night I was reminded of this simple fact, in blazing clarity.

I may be busy almost every night, I may not chat, I may seem short, or say little, and I may be neck deep in corporate administration or hauling for hours every night for a week in a row sometimes, but I always peek my head up from the trenches now and then, and smile as I watch all my friends having a good time and dreaming the same dreams I had so long ago, of guts and glory and lasting memories.