Burninate!

Last night, a PvP fleet formed on the fly at the alliance level, to combat some reds randomly zipping around in Providence space. I had planned on doing some fuel hauling, certainly the most exciting thing I could think of, but instead found myself drawn into Fast Times At Providence High. Yes, there were shiny ships, and we fondled them with our missiles, lasers, scripts, and TLC until nothing was left but memories and thin space. Right off the bat we managed to pop a Zealot before Logic had to go AFK to pick up his wife. I must say, everyone was decidedly bloodthirsty that evening as within seconds after the Zealot was popped and the pilot podded, the wreck was looted and salvaged, and the corpse was scooped. Seconds.

However, we found ourselves trying to camp some random noob who had evidently, or so he claimed, came back to the game from being gone a long while only to find himself in a red corporation a few jumps into Providence. He was toying with us, I know he was, because he was ratting the belts, while he knew people were trying to kill him, and the whole while he kept clamoring to talk to a CVA Diplomat, he kept docking and undocking, begging us to smelt his juicy hull into ingots of win with our lasers of pew.

After Logic logged for a bit, the fleet dispersed somewhat, leaving me as Fleet Commander of only three other people, Quixote in a Rapier, Falgoria in a Thorax, and LaserX in a Taranis. I myself was flying my trusty Onyx, aptly named Old Ironsides, having once taken on a gang of eight battleships and a smattering of battlecruisers, and lived to tell the tale.

Much to our chagrin, our little friend left his red corporation in an attempt to shake his KOS status, and he continued to play games in local with his Ferox. As we warped to 0m of the station to spy him out, fortune would have it that he was just then undocking. He then proceeded to warp to a planet, and shockingly he chose one in the system that had no other celestial objects amongst it, so I had only two choices, the planet or a belt. He now had a 1:2 chance I would pick correctly.

Well I landed on grid at Planet III after taking a guess he was inexperienced enough to warp to 0m of the planet, and what do you know, there he is 3km off my bow! Bubble up! A few volleys of fun later and we sent him packing back to whatever rock he crawled out from.

The most entertaining part of the night was his pleading in local, which had all the makings of an afterschool special. I do not have the log with me at the moment, but I'll just give you the general idea with what he really meant included in italics:

Trisx: I am not a pirate, I want to speak to a CVA Diplo!
Trisx: I ebay'd this character, but I'm waiting for a juicy hauler to pop so I can afford to lose this ship!
Trisx: HALP! I was having fun toying with you!
Trisx: PLEASE STOP! I haven't even popped that hauler with 2bil worth of BPOs yet!
Trisx: If you go away I will pirate people in twenty minutes and piss you off.
Trisx: guess I'm quitting the game again, to go back to my main where I will burninate your blues!

Now, while this may seem unusually cruel for us to simply remain silent to his pleas as we wailed on his ship like a caveman trying to get his hot date back to the lair, but here's the way it works.

Anyone who is set KOS via corporation or alliance, remains so until they join a blue/neutral corporation or alliance, or leave their corporation or alliance and pay restitution to the parties they have wronged in the past and then enter into talks with a CVA Diplo to have their KOS status revoked. Or as a corporation or alliance they may do the same respectively, leaving alliance, or corporation or alliance pays restitution, etc. This guy had done none of that. Not only that, but he was deliberately playing with us in local, taunting us to catch him. Not exactly a wise move on his part knowing that he was being actively pursued. No one is this stupid. Okay, okay, this guy could not have been.

There are spies everywhere in Providence, and every red has a story, the reason we keep silent in local is because that wall of silence is a power over them. Not only that, but it is also amusing to see what they write sometimes, because some of them must think EVE is real life the way they talk in local as you are burninating their ships and podding them back to hell.

Overall, it was an awesome night, and I do enjoy the random opportunity to command a fleet whether small or large, but the lesson learned here, is that random PvP on nights when there are ample targets with which to pursue are usually the same nights where you get multiple exciting kills that you will talk about again and again for weeks afterwords.

Next time I am hunting some tool in Providence, I can only hope that he too has some wild story about how his dog ate his homework, he failed calculus, his parents grounded him from EVE for six months, he just came back to the game, and to please spare his pirate ship so he can go wail on ratters after we leave him be.

Sorry, not buying it. We will give you a free ride to your medical bay, where you go from there is up to you! CVA handles the diplomacy and sorting the who's who of Providence space, it is our job to escort reds back to Empire one way or the other, not to cajole them with diplomacy. Not only that, but it did not feel right. This guy did not have the feel of someone who was truly at odds with how to resolve the fix he found himself in. Gathering intel, or waiting for a kill worth his time, is what I imagine he was up to. But again, it is not really our job to sort that out, we just give them a one way ticket to Empire.

For those of you interested in how I made this determination, as it involves counter-espionage which is a big factor in this game, here is a list of curiosities that led me to believe this guy was craftily attempting to give the impression he was harmless:

• Asking if CONCORD would aggress him if he went back to Empire yet he had positive security status
• Ratting the belts after professing interest in getting to the safety of Empire and knowing he was being actively pursued
  
• Having been in the system for more than a few days already, and still had not figured out how to contact a diplomat
• Knowing to ask for a CVA diplomat after having said he had been gone from the game for a long time, if he could remember exactly who to ask for after so long, he should remember how NRDS works as well
  
• Acting like he thought he could clear his KOS status by leaving his present corporation
• Being in space period, knowing he was KOS
• Not leaving in a pod or shuttle to Empire, to worry about his Ferox once standings were addressed with a CVA diplomat, it's a Ferox FFS not a carrier he'd leave behind.
  
• Warping to a planet rather than docking at the station since he was in range
• Evidently knowing the jig was up, so finishing the ploy by being destroyed
• Just a gut feeling that his words and behavior were too conveniently stupid

Now, sure, he may very well have been this inexperienced or idiotic and I may very well have just been unusually paranoid last night, but again it is not my job to determine that, even though I had a great time trying to sort it out in my head as I scooped his smoking corpse from the glowing hot wreckage of his pod.

That is the one gray area of Providence, a murky reconnoitering of seemingly neutral or harmless people who are in fact there to cause real harm in some form, shape, or fashion. Be on your toes, not every neutral you pass by in Providence is merrily ratting, hauling, or minding their own business. Some of them are calculating how valuable your ship is, and reporting it to hostile combatants and taking a cut of the score when your ship is destroyed minutes later.