Frozen In Time

So, I collect corpses. Yes, those frozen bodies floating through space, the glint of ice as the sun catches a sharp angle while it slowly spins aimlessly through the void, this all fascinates me. Why, however? Do I also torture small woodland animals, and delight in other similarly heinous behaviors? No, not really. It all kind of stems from a fascination with dead stuff like most guys have especially at a young age (Yes, you know who you are, poking a dead bird in the eye with a stick at such a tender age, that was you!) but also for me a throwback to the Diablo days when it was all the rave to PKK fools and steal their ears, making a sinister collection of grotesque trophies to show off to your friends.

In EVE, this could not be more true for me, as every corpse I collect only encourages me to collect more. Granted, a lot of the corpses I have now (+100) I have merely scooped from some random point outside a station or stargate, or had generously contracted to me by a fellow member, but some of them, yes those precious few, I have either caused myself, or been within a jump or two and inbound, attempting to stake my claim on the finer art of pod killing.

What is the reason I carry them around in all my ships though? Surely this must be a sign that I am a decrepit hermit who babbles and drools while stumbling around like a drunk baboon. No, there is a reason for this too, and I think this is the best part of it all, as follows below.

I fly mostly covert ships that can warp while cloaked, and ... though I try not to claim such things often, I am very good at it. How many times has Mendolus lost a covert ship or been podded? ... 0. So the thing about corpses is, they are unlike any other material goods in the game, when you go to jettison them in space, rather than appear in a can a few meters from your ship they instead randomly spew out up to 15km from your ship and begin their aimless frozen journey through space once more, unfettered by a can or other similar container.

So the way I figure it, I have such a wonderful track record with living in low and null security for eight months and having never been caught by hostiles in a covert ship, that if they do in fact pop me, I'd like to give them a little surprise.

Can you imagine it?

Pirate A: Helios uncloaked! Point! *his Ares nimbly acquires a target lock and scramble*
Pirate B: Engaging! *KABLAMMO, the Helios goes down in flames with little effort*
Pirate A: WTF? There's a corpse out here, but we haven't podded him yet?
Pirate B: O-M-G *screams giddily like a schoolgirl* Residual podding! I heard about this in nooblet training! He's dead!
Pirate A: No, no look he's still on grid in his pod! *forgets in his haste to point out that the corpse name does not match the pilot they engaged*
Pirate B: That's a bug you stupid cu#@... wait wtf it just warped away, AHHH!!! Mothatrucka!
Mendolus: Mwuahhahahha! *evil rumbling laughter echoes through the comms on the pirate's ship panels*


Ah yes, sweet sweet victory, you drooling sacks of pirate monkey sweat, you may take my ship, but I haz... the last laugh!






Ok, so it's obvious I have quite the imagination, but really, how awesome would it be to give someone a good start after they actually manage to snag the kill of all kills, a covert ops ship, only to see some poor hapless corpse shoot off into space like a greased turd out of the smoldering wreck. Even better, I tend to carry three or four corpses at a time in most of my covert ships.

Ah yes, most excellent *rubs hands together*.