The Monk

The Monk
Stoic Philosophy


Well, rather than talk about the corporation, let's talk about me for a bit. Now I am certain that your interest is peaked, after all I am fascinating am I not? Hehe. Okay maybe not, but still, what am I all about?

As early as fifteen years old, I was thrown into situations where I had to lead, or be led. I was given the opportunity to work regularly as a technical stagehand at the theater in my high school which sat +1400 people and brought in such critically acclaimed acts as Marcel Marceau and others. Now, although there were seniors on hand to train me the first year, along with my boss of course, I quickly determined that my actual peers, were up for shenanigans more than experiences, so I took charge once the old guard had graduated. By the time I was a senior, I was the main student help, the stage manager for the fall musical, and pretty much the goto guy for all things student-worker related. The reason for this? Well, as I said, most of my peers just wanted to mess around rather than do honest work, so the only way it was going to get done properly is if I took charge.

During this time, having grown up on the original Nintendo console from the age of 8 and beyond, I got into my first MMO, the original Diablo. Almost at once I found myself gathering up people I met along the way, and protecting them from PKs, God Moders, Teleport hackers, and all other levels of household vermin. I found it was easier to define this group with a name and a website, something they could all feel a part of, so I formed my first social group online. I believe we were called the Shadow Knights. Once again, I was a leader. And you know, I think this is the point at which a trend started forming for me. Protecting people, so satisfying, no matter the cost to my personal life or well being, it was just the bee's knees to watch the fruit of my labors (the social group) frolic carelessly before me, having been freed from the burden of responsibility they would have otherwise had to bear alone and in silence.

The days of Diablo and the online gaming environment it supported came and went after only a short while, maybe half a year or a little more, as during those days, hacking an MMO's gaming environment was as easy as logging onto the game, and turning on your trainer, downloaded straight from some public website. Duped items abounded, even in my own inventory. Those days, no one policed the hackers, and they ran rampant, so you were forced to hack the hackers. Thus the terms PK, PKK, AntiGod, Teleport Hacker, Punting, Flooding, Session Freezing, and the like were all born to a more mainstream audience in a discernibly frustrating way. The social group eventually went its own ways, as of course, being in high school and somewhat transient, I maintained only a loose and infrequent amalgam of hosted games and meetings with my new friends, who just simply stopped logging on one by one over the course of my time with the game.

Then came college, and through living with one of my best friends in a tiny dormitory without air conditioning, and being nervous as all get out about the vast unknown of adult life, we found ourselves playing as a total escape and arguably one of my first multiplayer FPS experiences ever, Rogue Spear. Oh the joy of those days when one would host a game online that you were in complete control of until the round started, sitting in some dark nook in the back of some special spot that you loved popping people off from, setting your fully automatic UMP20 with silencer on single shot, and picking off that hostile who leaned out a window for literally a split second. "Clak clak," goes the trigger on your small unimposing firearm, the only sound emanating from its silencer fit muzzle as it fires off a round. Head shot! Holy crap! And once again forming a player group, The §hadow Clan, my roomate and I valiantly played four to six hours of Rogue Spear a night for nearly half a year, until the hackers took over with their Vertigo and their Heartbeat Hacks, and Auto-Aims to which we had to bid an unfortunate and fond farewell to a game that was so extraordinarily ahead of its time and is so fondly remembered even today by what I am sure are many of its prior players.

Now, at this time, I had enough real life gaming friends, that most of my subsequent activities centered around doing fun stuff with them (as Varian had set out to do a few weeks ago when he and his real life friends left the AU-F to start their own shop). I played untold amounts of Unreal Tournament, Rune, Starcraft, Halo, and other competitive multiplayer online games until I was blue in the face, but I never started another player group. I had not really soured on the idea more than I got caught up with just having fun with real life friends and not being tied to anything in particular. This was college after all, that was kind of the point.

However, around the time I finished up college, got married, and moved into my first real apartment with a new fulltime job, I picked up a little known *snicker* game called Warcraft in the fall of '05 after hearing my new coworkers lauding its amazing gameplay and unimaginably fun content and social landscape for months on end while I was stuck with dial-up until we moved out of my in-law's house and into an apartment, the horror! Thus began a journey through hell in a hand basket, filled with laughter and tears, that is all too voluminous and inexplicably complicated to go into with just the amount of material I am discussing as it is in this post. What had previously been a pastime for me, to lead player groups, to protect them from hackers and other unscrupulous players, to help ensure they were entertained, had a good time, and were less concerned with the why of things and more with the fun itself, now become a part time job. Where I had led groups of a dozen or so to maybe fifty people at any given point, I now found myself within less than a year's time, in charge of almost three hundred people, a hundred active and anxious raiders, countless casuals, hangers on, friends, associates, and yes, some unsavory elements as well. I named the guild Ara Noctis (Are Uh Knock Tiss), which means The Altar Of Night. This. Was. Sparta. And I, and the officers I surrounded myself with, were the line between complete dissolution and unparalleled entertainment and enjoyment of content that at the time was still so revolutionary that everything else absolutely paled in comparison. The release of the AQ gates alone was something to which still mystifies me today, how so many people literally took a day off from their real lives, to participate in the grand opening on their particular server. Madness. Pillars littering the landscape in nearly every zone, spewing mobs with countless riches and treasures, for weeks on end, leading up to the grand opening of the gates, where towering mobs almost too direct to be an allusion to the god Anubis in Egyptian mythology spilled forth and began obliterating the unfortunate few who managed to aggro them in all the chaos and lag on the server, was just the most amazing thing I had seen in gaming up to that date. I found myself leading raids of forty people, almost a different mix every time, three nights a week, for months on end that seemed to stretch out into eternity. This was epic. But like every game that ever came before it, for me, the developers eventually ruined the atmosphere and ambiance of the gameplay experience by either ignoring or not resolving its shortcomings or inundating it with hooks, lines, sinkers, and fillers, to the point that the people themselves, so unable to really pursue alternatives (there were really none at the time) were being led hand and foot from one month's subscription fee to the next. A story for another time, but I burned out, and retired, passing the torch to a trusted friend and co-leader, and hanging up my sword for a year.

So, that leads me up until the early Spring of '08, having come back for a short while to Warcraft to visit with old friends, and unfortunately doing more harm than good when I saw that the game had warped everything I had held near and dear to me and had protected for more than a year with my blood and sweat, I found myself finally disillusioned with the whole MMO process and set adrift and alone in the gaming industry with no place to call home. What is this MMO phenomenon, that eats away at life's precious moments, and leaves you with this untold longing for more and more, even as you morbidly realize that you cannot take any of the pixels with you? Well, it's the people I met, and helped along the way. I do not lead groups because it makes me feel powerful. In fact, I hate power, and the only reason I gravitate towards it, is to secret it away so others cannot abuse or be abused by it, corrupted either willingly or unwillingly. Thus, much as in previous games, I formed the Aurelius Federation to provide one of our longest running members, Jacob (Kuroda Tsu) with a safe place where he could simply enjoy the game and be himself, without anyone breathing down his neck or trying to take advantage of him (like his CEO then was doing). Having found myself, absolutely and entirely without intention, in fact I purposefully came to EVE and fell for its spacey goodness, with the particular hope that it would be a wide and expansive enough gaming environment that I would not get stuck or tied down to any social strata, in charge of yet another player group, I ran with it, and have not looked back since.

And so here we are, having this long discussion, about stuff that matters greatly to me, but with uncertainty to others, about what makes MMOs so captivating for people like us.

There are two things I live by in real life and in an online environment and they are:

[True power is in not having to use said power in order for its effects to be felt]

[...and they will respect a line in the sand more than forgiveness]

I champion your enjoyment and the entertainment value you get out of this and other games, because that is what matters to me. And after having lead groups for a decade now whether in real life or virtual reality, I have come to understand that the only thing we really ever remember or hold onto are the people we meet, and not a single pixel will ever shape our experiences the way the people around us will.

I am unmovable in this respect, like a monk, or Stoic philosopher, and will do whatever it takes to provide every suitable member of this corporation with a playing environment where they can truly enjoy themselves and more importantly feel free to be themselves. Simply a group of friends and nothing more.

So to you, I salute, because in ten years I will remember you, and not the Nighthawk of which I am so fond of.

Fly safe,
Your Friend

P.S. Edited with a WarcraftRealms link to the members who passed through the guild in the year and a half that I led it. Click on the Ex-Members link for a full list.

Anaz = Rasnow
Andolar = Mendolus
Strathelar = Naeisha
Candwe = Rasnow's Wife